Migraines suck.

Yesterday was a rough day- I woke up at 5:30 am with a massive migraine. The kind where you can barely open your eyes because light hurts, the kind where any form of noise is too much noise, the kind where any touch somehow manages to hurt your head.  Thank goodness I have an awesome boss who gave me the day to recooperate.  I'd also like to give a special shoutout to my guy who gave me all the love and attention I could handle yesterday- all while respecting the fact that everything hurt. I actually got to go back to sleep for a few hours and finished the most recent season of NCIS.  I have to say, I'm very excited for the NCIS: New Orleans spinoff.  I think it will be much more to the taste of my guy.


I barely slept last night however, because instead of one fussy puppy- I had one fussy puppy who wouldn't stop sticking her nose in my armpit and one who just fussed at me all night. So today I am very tired and my migraine has barely lessened in intensity.

So for that- i put up this quote



have a great day y'all

B

Making it happen- a strategy change

This career isn't always easy.  In fact, we get kicked in the face a lot. But, we pick ourselves up and keep going because there is no other option.  Either you get up and get back on the proverbial horse or you shut down and let this career die.  I've had some struggles this week and after talking with my dad, I decided to change strategies.  Whenever you take someone's career into your hands, you become invested.  I just have to become invested at a smaller level.  I am a people person and I truly care about the people I bring into this company.  I want them to succeed and to have every opportunity to make this work.  Some people just aren't cut out for this though and I cannot make them be great at this.  I realized that there is alot of GRIT needed for this career path.  I've had it most of my life and it's part of the reason I'm successful here. Grit is either there inside of you or it's not.  It can't be trained.  I can train technique and a schedule but without grit, this career is a waste of time for most people.


So my new strategy is going to be: being more clear with people and giving a probationary period.  I will invest myself only as much as the other person is willing to invest in this career. In the long run, this will protect me and will protect them as well.  Only 10% of people have what it takes to make this career work.  Now I just have to find them.



Take a little time out of your busy schedule to think about whether what you are doing makes you happy, makes you productive, and makes the world a better place.  If it doesn't- it's time for a change.


Best wishes

Taking care of me

This morning I had a talk with my mentor, who reminded me that as much as I take on and as awesome as I am at it, that I need to take care of me too.

I'm so busy trying to get through this program in a year, that I forget to take care of me.  It's also one of my goals for my group dynamics class: to take care of myself.

So today I went to the local Vitamin Shoppe and took my first steps towards taking care of myself.  I already have a multivitamin- which I rarely take- and vitamin C- which I also rarely take- so I focused on how often I am working out now- which is 3-5 times a week.  I enjoy it, but I am not used to it so my body is unhappy. I spent quite a while talking with a very nice lady who helped me pick out three products.  I do not have trouble sleeping often, but sometimes I do- so she recommended a melatonin pill to take at night.  Also I got my first protein powder, for before bed and before workouts. I would really like to gain some more muscle and I do not want to bulk up so the Muscle Milk Natural was the way to go. I also got Accelerade which helps speed muscle recovery and enhances rehyrdation. I hope that through using these three products in combination with eating better and my exercise plan that I can begin to really see taking care of myself as a priority.

I also went to Barnes and Nobles and picked up a few interesting reads.
1. The Startup Playbook: Secrets of the Fastest Growing Startups from their Found Entreprenuers by David S. Kidder
2. Sugar Babe by Holly Hill
3. Go Put Your Strengths to Work: Six powerful steps to acheive outstanding performance by: Marcus Buckingham
4. Girls in Trucks by Katie Crouch
5. The Atlantis Code by Charles Brokaw

Taking care of myself isn't just about physically taking care of myself.  It is also about emotional and psychological wellbeing.  I need to start doing things I enjoy again.  There needs to be time for fun things too.  I already get my educational fulfillment during classes, however, we never really stop learning, thank goodness. I got some books that I think will be stimulating and interesting to read. and hopefully fun :)

I also decided that devotionals are pretty cool and I think I want to write one without any religious influence.  Do you know how hard that is to find in a book store?  Pretty much impossible.  So I think I'm going to start doing that.  I want to use my sports psychology knowledge to really help people.

Hoping you are having a fantastic day!
B

First day, but not for me

Well, today is the first day of school, but not for me! Yay!  One last day of freedom before the craziness of the semester gets rolling.  A day for organization, sleep, showers, and whatever I want to do.

 So far this morning, as it is lightly raining, it has meant staying in bed and listening to Bed of Roses: Book Two of the Bridal Quartet by Nora Roberts.  What a wonderful series!  I have listened to the series multiple times before, but it still manages to make me smile.

I'm glad that my only real outing today is to Sam's Club for lettuce and a rotisserie chicken.

Hoping your day is fantastic!
B

No more election :) being productive

Hey ya'll,
   I just said ya'll. ahahahahaha! I'm not that southern yet.  However since moving to the south I notice myself picking up a slight southern accent and being nicer to people.  Not bad things overall.

Thank goodness the election is over! No more nasty campaign commercials and people might start being nicer to each other again. And no longer will people's political views be all over Facebook.  again, thank goodness! everyone has their opinion, but not the right to push those opinions on others.  Politics, religion, and marriage are all examples of things you shouldn't push on other people.

Somedays are just stay in bed and get work done days.  The past 24 hours have been that day for me. It is raining and cold in Knoxville, TN.  Makes me not want to leave the comfort of my nice, warm bed. I have 14 pages of the dreaded 60 page sport psychology manual done.  :) yay!  It is not nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I also filled out most of my University of Utah application.  And did homework for my sport psych class. I even remembered to eat and now I am enjoying watching the Chew from yesterday and having a bloody mary. :)

I am going to spend the rest of the day working on some other work as well as my sport psych manual. :)

Picking up my roomie later tonight from her travels and interviews in Atlanta, GA.  I really hope for her sake that they went well, however, I'm going to miss her when she leaves.  :(

Hoping your day is going well,
<3 B

Catch up, again...

Hello Peeps!
 Sorry it has been so long since I've written on here. Life has been...all kinds of crazy.  I finally decided on graduate schools to apply to for my counseling PhD. :) Had a fantastic time at the AASP conference and made great new contacts.  Became friends with girls I never thought I would cherish as much as I do. I don't feel so isolated here in Knoxville anymore. :) 

The man came down and spent a week with me. I cannot explain how happy that made me.  We worked out 95% of our issues and it makes me so much more relaxed regarding our relationship. We went to our first wedding as a couple, seeing my sorority GBig get married. What a beautiful bride she was!  I got to see my Big for the first time in two years and it was fantastic! It's crazy to think how much has happened in such a short period of time. :) 

I wanted to share with you some things that made me really happy today, since part of the point of this blog for me, is to share things that make me happy. :)

1.  the knowledge that I exercised my right to vote
2. donuts and milk for breakfast
3. waking up before my alarm
4. not having to defrost the car this morning
5. a random enthusiastic hug from a friend
6. taking a nap between classes one and two
7. eating my delicious sandwich
8. already having a partner for a project in one of my classes
9. being let out of class two and three early
10. spending time girl-talking with a friend
11. Knowing one of my girlfriends <3's me 
12. great relaxation activity in class three
13. Dove dark chocolate pieces to eat in class
14. ordering the new Nora Roberts Inn Boonsboro book on Audible and starting it :)
15. feeling like I learned something in class three today
16. having chicken nuggets and milk for dinner like a five year old :)

Happy Day lovelies!!!!

flaws...are our strengths

There are some days when you just need to take a breath…and let it go. Today is one of those days for me.  I even went and walked the labyrinth, not that the benefits lasted very long. I never thought I would enjoy walking the labyrinth, something that is monotonous and takes up a good deal of time.  The one at the UT gardens doesn’t take a long time, however it is monotonous.  I have found peace in the monotony of the task. Just breathing in for four counts and out for four counts.  Before you know it you are in the middle and then again you are where you started.  There is something incredibly peaceful about the process somehow.

I think I may be antsy because I know my boyfriend is traveling and without clear cell phone reception. I never know when or if he is going to call. It also could have something to do with the fact that we now fight Every time we talk to each other.  Most of that is my doing and I’m ok with it. A famous woman said “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Audrey Hepburn. I believe this. If he can’t handle a mess that he created and talk to me about it, then he doesn’t deserve to have me in the first place.  I said I would never be the girl who stayed with a guy who continually fucked up.  Well, I guess right now I am that girl.  My boyfriend has no idea what he wants other than it may not be me.  He says he wants me and then turns around and says he doesn’t know if the life that I have in mind for myself fits into his dream life. You chose me dude. You told me you wanted to marry me, have kids with me.  How can I believe anymore that the things you have said are just because you think its what I want to hear and will keep me in your bed? I don’t get it. Not at all. He says I’m putting all the blame on him…I know my flaws…

1.   I have to be right, all the time

2.   I am ambitious in my choice of career.

3.   I feel the need to “fix” people

4.   I need to feel connected to my partner (holy shit it’s a crime!)

5.   I am high maintenance when I’m not with my partner

6.   My top priority right now is my education

7.   I have a very hard time forgiving.

8.   My feelings can be easily hurt by my partner

9.   My heart and head are connected; I cannot separate the two.

10.  I love being with people. I find them incredibly interesting and that everyone has value

11.  I’m anti- racism, sexism, pretty much any –ism, and I judge people hardcore who are racist, sexist etc

12.  If you fucked me over in the past, don’t expect me to be pleasant to you

13.  I like to dress to impress myself. I want to feel good about myself and how I look

14. I have a temper and once it gets going, it’s hard to stop

15.  I judge people who drink in excess, smoke, speed excessively, do drugs, beat their spouses/children, verbally abuse others, etc.

16.  Communication is key

17.  I hold things in and then blow a gasket

18.  I get upset for no reason

19.  I try to fix things on my own

20. I don’t like being touched while I sleep especially my feet

21.  The only time you have the right to tell me what to do is in bed

22. I have trouble sharing

23. I believe in equality in all things- money, jobs, happiness, education, marriage, childcare, housework, etc

See?  I have flaws just like everyone else. And I can admit to them. So there! Suck it! However, these things are also what make me so strong. I don’t forgive easily. I believe in equality. these things make me strong and are a big part of who I am. 

AASP is next week!  I am so incredibly excited.. I will hopefully almost be to my aunt’s house at this time next week. I love Aasp. It is a wonderful time and it fills me with even more love for my chosen profession.

Then I get to see my boyfriend the next week. It’s weird to think that I will get to see him, my kids, my littles’, Cassie, Ally, and my family.  It has been quite a while since I have seen any of them.  It will have been six and a half weeks since I have seen David or my family or Cassandra. Longer than that since I’ve seen ally.  Much longer since I’ve seen either of my littles or my kids. That’s not even a full sentence I just realized. Lol.

My favorite show, NCIS, is on right now, but since I do not have cable, I will have to wait until later tonight, or tomorrow to watch it. That’s ok though.  It will be a good break from working on homework all day tomorrow. 

Hope you like the font :)

B-